A Great Christ

It's been a while. Crazy times definitely can describe just how I feel with what is going on in my life. I feel like every time I talk to someone I haven't seen or talked to in a while, they always ask me, "how's college going? how is life?" and I always reply, "it's been busy and crazy." Life and college in general has been busy and crazy. That's for sure.

The Lord has been working a lot on my heart and giving me a lot of lessons, I didn't think I needed. It seems that He keeps on giving me new situations after another, after another; showing me how I can't handle things on my own. In these situations, God has been showing me that He is in control and I can't fix things no matter how hard I try. I've lately realized that I have been not letting Him take control of things that are going on in my life, rather I'm trying to do it my way. I'm trying to fix everything because I want them to be fixed. The Lord has been faithful and been showing me that I cannot do everything. I need to selfishly stop trying to take a hold of things that are in God's hands.

I've always been the type of person who wants to fix things. A lot of my friends go to me for advice when they have things going on and I try to help them as best as I can. I hate unresolved things. The Lord knows this and He knows that I have a problem of not letting Him be in control of things. And that is so stupid. I often forget that my life isn't about doing the things I want; but ultimately it is about pleasing the Lord and giving Him the glory.

Francis Chan simply and bluntly states,
 “From start to finish, this movie is obviously about God. He is the main character. How is is possible that we live as though it is about us?”
― Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God 

Trying to take control of my life, is saying to God that He doesn't know what is the best for me and He isn't giving me what I need. The Lord is faithful and He does not withhold any good from us. He always gives us what is necessary to us and He does good always for those who love Him. I often wonder how many times will it take me to fully understand and realize this without going through another trial. I've gone through things before and God keeps showing me the same lesson over and over again. The Lord shows me I'm weak and I need to depend on Him. I don't pray enough. I don't read His Word enough. I don't thank and praise Him enough. I don't know Him enough. I fail everyday at something. Whether it's a thought or action, I sin everyday. But I rejoice at the fact that the Lord sent His son to die on the cross for my sins; something I do not deserve at all; and when the Lord looks at me He sees Christ: holy, righteous, and blameless.

It's easy to complain about how things are not going the way you want them to go, not according to the plan. Guess what? It's not about your plan. It's about what plan God has for you. He knows what is best for you. He is giving you everything you need at this moment, every second. I struggle with my selfishness everyday. I constantly want things to be different but God has been testing me and showing me that His plan is way better. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what the Lord has in store for my parents, for their marriage and if the Lord will open their eyes to a relationship with Him. I don't know if I'll get married. I don't know if I'll live one more day or live till I'm old and wrinkly. I don't know anything about my future or what God has in store for me. What I do know is that the Lord is in control of everything. He does everything for His glory; He is good in what He does. He uses trials to strengthen His children. I can rest and know that He is good, He is just, and He is love. The great relief for the believer is knowing that Christ is with us always and knowing that He is God working everything for His glory.

Charles Spurgeon said it well: 

"I have a great need for Christ; I have a great Christ for my need."

Sitting and Reading

This was definitely a fun photoshoot to do. This is the first time I've actually done something that was more creative when taking photos which was for a photography assignment. We found a big nice oak tree with a great branch. I came up with the idea of having my friend Carissa sit on the branch with a couple of books in her hand and then later thought it would be great if we made a tower of books leading up to her. It came out really great and definitely tells viewers who Carissa is. She loves to read and her dream would probably be hanging out in a tree reading all day long with a cup of tea or coffee.

Life as a college freshman

Part 1:

It's been forever since I've posted an entry on here.. But thought it would be useful to those who haven't gotten a chance to catch up with me. I'll just let some of you guys know what has been going on in my life since I've started college. Even if you think you have "caught up" with what has been going on with my life, I don't think you have any idea of half of the things that have been going on.

All I can say is wow, God is so good to me. I remember before I decided which college I would go to, I tried to imagine myself at each option. It was kinda simple for me I guess... I had narrowed it down to two colleges: Cal State Northridge or Cal State Long Beach. The Lord definitely was in control of the situation and I ended up picking Northridge. All the things I expected of my senior year in high school and my freshman year at college, did not turn out that way. BOY, God disciplined me in ways that I didn't think or feel the need of disciplining in.

I knew that college was definitely going to be different than high school especially from a private Christian school which was where I have been all of my life. I didn't really matter to me that it was going to be a public school because I knew that God could use me to be a light on a campus that doesn't know Him.

Let me tell you one thing for sure: Living on campus, in student housing with a bunch of non-believers indulging in the grotesque sins of the world, is HARD. The first couple of weeks of school was miserable for me to be honest. I grew very weary and I started missing my home church, family, and close friends. I wasn't struggling through classes or anything schoolwork related, but I felt I lacked fellowship. Where was the body? I would attend Grace Community on the Sunday mornings with available rides, but I felt so empty. I didn't have anyone to talk to at school who would encourage me in my walk with Christ which was so different than I was use to back home. My best friends were back home or off to a separate college and my discipler was away in Chicago; nobody was there for me. This is the part where I realized how stupid I was. God was here with me. He never forsakes His children. Well I can honestly say that God has grown me so much closer to Him. Through those weeks where I did not know anyone on campus who was a Christian, I got to know God more and I'm continually learning this Holy, Magnificent, Immutable, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient, and Infinite God.

I kept praying that I would get plugged in really quickly to the Grace on Campus Bible Study. It wasn't until 3 weeks after I had moved in that I finally found it during club rush week. I really enjoyed it because every aspect of the bible study was Christ centered and I never have experienced bible study in the sense of having worship time, breaking off into small groups for prayer time, and a sermon. Even though I was new, everyone was very friendly and seemed to genuinely care for my needs even though I didn't know them. I knew from the start that I would be staying in this bible study. After visiting on my first night of bible study, I still felt a little disconnected and awkward which wasn't surprising to me because it happens when you're in an unfamiliar setting. So after getting to know some girls at bible study, they had convinced me to go on the fall retreat. That time on retreat helped me so much to open up more to my fellow sisters and brothers in Christ and it reminded me that no matter where I am, I will always have my church family. That is such a joy in my heart.

Part 2: 

It's in the middle of finals week and everyone is getting all stressed which is understandable. I, myself, have been getting stressed with juggling time with the Lord, study time, tutoring others, and also fellowship. 

I was talking with my good friend Hannah a couple of weeks ago in our small group and she brought up the point, how are we spending our time? We each made lists of our priorities that were in our lives in order at that moment and then asked ourselves why isn't God on the top. We wanted Him to be, we love Him and desire for Christ to be in the focus of our lives. But why wasn't He? Most of the time that just simply means that we don't love Him and know Him enough. If we really knew God and knew of what He put His Son through, why wouldn't we love everything that He is? 

We are so concerned about the petty things in our lives and what the world thinks of us. Paul says in Galatians 1:10, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." We are concerned about the wrong things in our lives. A lot of times, I've reminded myself of this truth, but I still fall back into being concerned of what others think and what I feel comfortable doing. Christ did not promise us comfortable lives. He promised us the complete opposite. John 15:18-20 says, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours."

Why is there a sense of laziness in our churches today in just being comfortable? Most criticism the church and Christians receive is: hypocrisy. I've seen the hypocrisy of "christians", "believers", "saints" saying how much the Holy Spirit has done in their lives, but their lives are not renewed. They know the scriptures well, years and years of memorizing bible verses, but their hearts are not given to the Lord. They are no different from the world; unbelievers. The sad truth is, unbelievers know their lives are not any different and they can see it from how they live their lives. How can people claim they are Christians if they themselves are not drastically changed by the Holy Spirit?
 

Here's a quote by Francis Chan from his book, Forgotten God:

“The world is not moved by love or actions that are of human creation. And the church is not empowered to live differently from any other gathering of people without the Holy Spirit. But when believers live in the power of the Spirit, the evidence in their lives is supernatural. The church cannot help but be different, and the world cannot help but notice.”

You can read the Bible from front to back and know sound doctrine, but if you don't have the Holy Spirit in your life it means nothing. You're life without God has no purpose. Each of us has to decide whether we crucify our flesh and follow the Holy Spirit or remain enslaved to sin. 

God has put this on my heart: If we CLAIM to be HIS CHILDREN, we should be RENEWED, drastically changed, the Holy Spirit's work in our lives is SUPERNATURAL and should be EVIDENT in our daily lives.   

Being in college for my first semester has grown me in so many different ways. Even though I've gone through awful things that I rather have not gone through, I saw God's hand in those situations. I've seen what God has saved me from and it is more clear of how AMAZING HE IS! Honestly, if God didn't save me from my enslavement to sin, I wouldn't know where I would be today. I would be seeking satisfaction in the things of the world.    

To quote my friend, "Sometimes... Life is hard." It is hard. But with Christ in our lives, we are at peace even in the midst of persecutions and hardships.
 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” 2 Cor. 12:9 –10

I am so glad that I have Jesus in my life.

College representators are actually stalkers.

I've been getting emails and letters from a bunch of colleges non stop and it's quite annoying. Yes, I love the fact that I'm wanted at places but most of the emails I get from universities are from places I do not want to attend at all especially the ones from Idaho or something like that. I don't even remotely remember signing up to be on the mailing lists for these colleges... But the sad fact is that if you try to ignore them, they still send you emails and mail.. "ARE YOU STILL THERE, CONNIE, IT'S THE BEST UNIVERSITY YOU WILL EVER ATTEND AND WE WANT YOU TO BE A PART OF OUR AMAZING CAMPUS!" There's a reason I am not submitting my application. I don't want to go to your college! Stop emailing me. I also don't want to lie to people on my application. A lot of the colleges require you to write an essay on why you want to be at that college and quite frankly I don't want to lie. I don't even want to be there. I certainly won't lie and say I want to go even if it's waived of the application fee. I certainly won't apply if I have to pay either.

Totally love Kina and this cover of this song.

I am Second: Lecrae

Lecrae is a great christian rapper I listen to and he is an encouragement to me and a great example of a christian living for God. Here's his story.

Blog

This blog is mostly for myself to get out my thoughts and to even pray to God. I'm gonna talk about what I find exciting, amazing, depressing, or even what makes me mad in life. I'm a Senior at Grace. My name is Connie. I like to play basketball. I love to go to the beach. I have a big brother named Brian. Blah. Blah. Blah. THE END :)