The Lord has been working a lot on my heart and giving me a lot of lessons, I didn't think I needed. It seems that He keeps on giving me new situations after another, after another; showing me how I can't handle things on my own. In these situations, God has been showing me that He is in control and I can't fix things no matter how hard I try. I've lately realized that I have been not letting Him take control of things that are going on in my life, rather I'm trying to do it my way. I'm trying to fix everything because I want them to be fixed. The Lord has been faithful and been showing me that I cannot do everything. I need to selfishly stop trying to take a hold of things that are in God's hands.
I've always been the type of person who wants to fix things. A lot of my friends go to me for advice when they have things going on and I try to help them as best as I can. I hate unresolved things. The Lord knows this and He knows that I have a problem of not letting Him be in control of things. And that is so stupid. I often forget that my life isn't about doing the things I want; but ultimately it is about pleasing the Lord and giving Him the glory.
Francis Chan simply and bluntly states,
“From start to finish, this movie is obviously about God. He is the main character. How is is possible that we live as though it is about us?”
― Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God
Trying to take control of my life, is saying to God that He doesn't know what is the best for me and He isn't giving me what I need. The Lord is faithful and He does not withhold any good from us. He always gives us what is necessary to us and He does good always for those who love Him. I often wonder how many times will it take me to fully understand and realize this without going through another trial. I've gone through things before and God keeps showing me the same lesson over and over again. The Lord shows me I'm weak and I need to depend on Him. I don't pray enough. I don't read His Word enough. I don't thank and praise Him enough. I don't know Him enough. I fail everyday at something. Whether it's a thought or action, I sin everyday. But I rejoice at the fact that the Lord sent His son to die on the cross for my sins; something I do not deserve at all; and when the Lord looks at me He sees Christ: holy, righteous, and blameless.
It's easy to complain about how things are not going the way you want them to go, not according to the plan. Guess what? It's not about your plan. It's about what plan God has for you. He knows what is best for you. He is giving you everything you need at this moment, every second. I struggle with my selfishness everyday. I constantly want things to be different but God has been testing me and showing me that His plan is way better. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what the Lord has in store for my parents, for their marriage and if the Lord will open their eyes to a relationship with Him. I don't know if I'll get married. I don't know if I'll live one more day or live till I'm old and wrinkly. I don't know anything about my future or what God has in store for me. What I do know is that the Lord is in control of everything. He does everything for His glory; He is good in what He does. He uses trials to strengthen His children. I can rest and know that He is good, He is just, and He is love. The great relief for the believer is knowing that Christ is with us always and knowing that He is God working everything for His glory.
Charles Spurgeon said it well:
"I have a great need for Christ; I have a great Christ for my need."
